(the picture of the flowers has nothing to do with the post....I just liked this shot of my Shamrocks)
I have been accepted to the nursing program......Yay! However, I now have to begin the application process and the financing part.....(drag, I hate 'financing'). I got the call today and we set an appointment for tomorrow. I am contemplating what this all means. I am starting to look for subversive ways to sabotage this for myself....fear is dogging me again. I always feel like it comes back to my whining....and then I remind myself that this is my blog and I can whine if I want to...as long as I don't bore people who can actually roll their eyes in my presence, then it isn't happening, right? Carrying on......I am afraid. I am. What if I can't hack it? What if the very real issue I have with blood flunks me out? I've talked about this to the admin advisor at both schools I'm looking at and they assure me, I will get over it, however, they won't be the one with the bump and gash on their foreheads for hitting something on their way down as they passout, right? And, as we've all seen on t.v., even new, young, doctors passout at the sight of blood or dead people, right? And, if it's on t.v. then it must be true, right? I digress...I am scared. I'm a big weenie, looking for a way to avoid 16-18 months of solid brain pounding. What if I'm too old, worn out and stale to do this? More importantly, what if this is the wrong door? Maybe I'm picking this door because I equate it to the 'hardest' thing I could pick to do?
This is where I'm coming from....and I in NO WAY have a personal opinion about the degree of toughness different branches of the armed service have, however, from my personal contact with different people who have served in different branches of the armed services, it seems that one of them tends to breed a certain assumption of toughness....(I in no way want to get anyone's dander up or debate who is the tougher of the services...seriously, I think they are all tough)BUT, since I have 3 brothers who are former Marines and have spent countless hours listening to them banter about what it means to be a Marine....and when asked why they joined the Marines, they said to me, "because they are the toughest".....I'm kind of wondering if I'm not picking the toughest road, just because it sounds like it might be the toughest, eh?
What....if I'm not as tough as I think I am? What if my crusty outer shell is too tough? You know, I really am a burnt marshmallow - charred and crusty on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside....what if my outsides are too tough and my insides are too gooey? AAArrrgghhhhh.....yikes.
Okay, reality adjustment....worry about these issues after I find out if this is really going to happen......
Peace out....
