Pour Your Heart Out.......

It has been a while since I last blogged. Sadly, it is because I don't have time. I don't even have time to read for pleasure anymore. Be careful what you wish for.....you just might get it! Last time I posted I had just started my new job as a medical assistant, yay me! I am so grateful for the experience I received at that first temporary position at a family practice. You learn a ton of different things, giving you perspective. Today, I am working in Cardiology - my goal, achieved! It is a wondrous new experience and I finally feel like I am home. Almost daily I pinch myself as I cannot believe I made it. I remember wondering so many times if I was going to get here, if I was good enough, strong enough and compassionate enough. Every day something new and wonderful happens. Some things are small and only noticeable to me, other things are huge and mind boggling and I have to confirm with someone else how cool it is just to be sure I'm not dreaming. Gratitude abounds.What a ride.

Today my life is so different than it was this time last year. It's funny how when you achieve your dream you look back at the road you traveled and wonder, "how did I finally get here". I've also discovered the dream has changed, morphed, grown, matured and is now just a little bit bigger. The road changed me and the dream,which I believe is the purpose of the road, right? I'm sure age contributed, maturity has a way of mellowing a person out and shaping them. I am shaped differently than I was last June. I'm still me, just a better, happier me. I have also discovered that even when your dream is realized, life is still life and not all parts of our life will be as fabulous as the realization of the dream. Dream realization is not a fairy tale come true, but the realization of the true you. Your best you. My life isn't perfect, but it is the life I was made for.

I am still taking care of Mended Little Hearts, I am still learning how to be a medical assistant and I am continuing to find purpose. There is an entire congenital heart defect world in which I would like to make some kind of difference. So, here I go.......off to push the dream along.......<3

Peace,
S

I am writing again., over here: http://mendedheartstories.blogspot.com/. As life continues to open up around me and the dreams I dreamt as I wrote this blog are happening, I find I want to share again. However, when I logged on over here again, Blogger seems to have changed on me. That's okay, I'll figure it out and share what I can when I can.

Peace
S

Waiting for inspiration.......

I have this nagging desire to go to Ireland. Not really fair to call the desire nagging, as I believe it is a good desire....however, funds always seem to be my scapegoat for getting out of doing anything with any real adventure. My Mom and I talked about doing this together.....putting our money aside and really going to the Emerald Isle. I have a romanticized idea of what the trip might be like and that always seems to run on until I convince myself the actual trip would not live up to my expectations and again talk myself out of going. First of all the length of the journey itself is daunting.....while I like airplane rides....(I went to England as a kid, so, I'm familiar with the length of the flight), I'm not sure I have the patience to go that far in a soda can with wings. But, what an adventure. I fancy myself a decendant of a Celtic Warrior.....you know, Zena-like, only my dreams always include chainmail and a shield. I sense what the battle might have been like and feel that the fight was always for a noble cause. I am Irish....Mom J was half Irish, half Russian.....her name says it all, Geraldine O'Connell, her sisters were Patricia and RoseMarie, her brother and father, both Patrick. She had flashing green eyes and red hair to save us all. So, maybe the Isle is calling me home.....maybe that is where I'll find myself, just tooling around a small Irish village and my heart's desire will envelope me and I will know who I am and what I was meant to do. Maybe that is where I belong, on the coast of Ireland in a little cottage over looking the ocean, on the cliffs. See, very romantic, however, once again, not practical. And, then I think, what if I go and the trip isn't all that great and I ruin all of my romantic notions about the beautiful green island. See why I've not realized my full potential, because I over think things, let my head talk my heart into chickening out. Just honoring my fear like a good little chicken..... :-) Maybe as an exercise in honoring my dreams I'll research what a trip to Ireland might cost and just where in Ireland I might like to visit. No promises on actually executing, but, research never hurt and it might just inspire me, eh?