"To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else."
Monday, January 11, 2010
How do you spell LOVE?
Officially, I have joined two dating sites. In doing so, I've spent a lot of time cruising through my 'matches'.....wow......um....well.....hmmm. Worse than that, I've had to write a profile for myself.....and on eHarmony they make you take a test.....seriously, a personality test so they can match you with someone who will want to date you. Seriously. I'm starting to think no one will want to date me.....in fact, I've not had any action.....just a few look sees. I'm not ugly, I am 'curvy' (because I refuse to call myself "a few extra pounds") and I'm funny, witty, smart and loyal....kind of like my dog....I'm even sort of short, like my dog....he's a daucshund. That aside, it is gruesome out there.
I've been told I'm too picky....but this is my life, don't I get to be a little picky? At one point I convinced myself to just send an email to everyone I've been matched to, but felt this really scary, tight feeling in my chest when I started to do it. In real life, not on eHarmony, I'm not so into looks, money or status, in fact I usually fall for the guy with the best sense of humor, who is happy to be fishing every day for the rest of his life (not that there is anything wrong with that) and who likes his dog better than most of his family.....but clearly that hasn't worked for me either, as I am alone.
I find that I'm eliminating guys based on mispelled words...not typos, mispelled words.....and guys who consider reading a car & driver magazine 'reading'.
Oh, and my favorite, the guy who posted a picture of himself, STILL WEARING HIS WEDDING RING.....he was NOT a widower.
And, people who don't put a picture up.....in some ways I think it's a good tactic, "if you like what you read and your focus isn't on my looks than you are worthy"....but if I'm on the same dating service as you and I contact you for a photo, bet your sweet ass you're going to look at my photo (because I put one up) before you contact me back, right? Crappy double standard.
I also find myself eliminating the guys whose preferences lean toward "athletic/toned" and "slender", because, let's be serious, like that guy's going to want me....I DON'T DO EXERCISE....I do activities, biking (when I can get motivated), dancing, walking through the park/forest/city/acreage/ocean, working in the garden, but NOT exercising....'less of course you call cooking some kind of exercise.
I also find that I'm eliminating the guys who work in the field I used to work in....I'm out of that crap, not going back in, even vicariously. Not that there is anything wrong with that industry......hunh.
I'm only doing this for a month.....that's it...then I'm cancelling the memberships and bagging it....this gives me plenty of time to find a date for Valentine's day, right?
I found a match this morning that actually appealed to me on MANY levels and I have to share with you what the hooks were.....he's a little younger than me, so he might not be interested (just four years), but I sent an email telling him what 'got me'.... Not only did he give attention to my insecurities about MY weight, he mentioned he was almost at his goal weight and wanted soemone who was in that same place (I liked this because I'm almost always 'near' my goal weight) and he said he is looking for "someone who turns on the light, instead of cursing the dark" and I liked that....(I know sometimes I come off as dark and sour, but really, I am always searching for a way to turn on the light). And, touching me in the heart he says, "I still believe in forever love. It might be a triumph of hope over experience, but I still believe." This, I LOVED..... (he had me at hello).
I am a woman on a mission to begin the life I have taken for granted for too long. Many changes have come in the last five years and while I have weathered them, I have not seriously taken any action to make changes for the enrichment of my life. The stories of my journey will be posted here......stay tuned for daily status of finally living a life not lived.....
To really live.....quit waiting for tomorrow....what if tomorrow never comes....what if you wake up, get dressed and head off to that job you hate and you get hit by a bus on the way.....what will you regret NOT doing? Telling someone you're sorry for hurting them? Giving your kid the 'attaboy' he or she needs to get them to the next level in their growth? Telling your friends how much they mean to you? Being there for your spouse when they've had a really bad day? Or, maybe you keep saying you're going to finally become the person you were meant to be......and you missed your chance because you didn't believe that NOW IS THE RIGHT TIME!
Been There, Done THAT..........
Spend more time with the people I love Read more....lots more Finish unpacking Take more pictures Set up my bench Use my bench Use the picture editing software on my computer Own a NIKON Tend the garden.....lovingly Have more company over for food..... Go to Blog camp in Reno Go to a Monastery and listen get a new defibrillator test out of some classes for M.A. Program finish medical assistant school
On the nightstand......
ECG Interpretation - Lippincot, Williams & Wilkins