Sunday, January 3, 2010

where does one find love these days?


We have been busy at my house cleaning up Christmas....and getting ready for the beginning of a new year. All of the Christmas stuff is packed and back in storage for safekeeping, the house has been spit shined and the furniture restored to its original positions. The mistress of the house and her roomie have begun contemplating what lies in store for our futures. I go back to school tomorrow for finals.....eek! I'm sure I'll do fine, not to worry I've been studying, seriously, I swear......

Some of you might recall my melancholy over the holidays regarding my singleness....not to worry, I'm still single....but, I've been pondering that a lot over the last few weeks and I'm considering my options.

In November of 2008 my young cousin got married, I flew to Georgia to be there for her joyous day and joyous it was. The bride and groom are very young, raised very Christian, the bride's daddy is a minister and the groom is a youth counselor, the wedding was beautiful and their vows very touching.....I was completely caught up in all of the splendor of it and even convinced myself that I was ready for love....my young cousin, bless her heart really got to me, too, at some point in the hoopla of the celebration we shared an intimate moment and she said to me, "Shey, you deserve love, too, and I know one day you will find it, I'm going to pray for you." And, that sent me over the edge......

When I returned from that trip I continued to feel caught up in the reverie of their love and decided I was going to go out and find LOVE, come hell or high water. Coincidently, throughout the area that I lived in (a very open, country type area, out in the sticks) there were signs tacked up on just about every telephone pole, backside of fences, street sign posts, etc. that advertised for a dating service, literally trying to recruit people from my little neck of the woods. I tried to ignore it, but decided maybe I could just check into it. Long story short, much to my embarrassment, I am still paying $100 a month to belong to a dating service I have not scored one date from......please, laugh along with me because that is all I can do....laugh....(I'm unemployed.....so, $100 a month is a lot of money), I signed an 18 month payment plan contract....(I was unemployed at the time, but the girl 'pulled some strings to get me signed up'). The services they offer aside, it was a rookie move brought on by not wanting to spend another Christmas alone.....(I'm making efforts to get out of the contract, but I don't think I can)

Why am I confessing this mess? Well, because despite my embarrassment about my method, I am undaunted in wanting to find love. I'm putting this out to you all....how does one go about finding love in this day and age?

Roomie and I have been chatting about this over the New Year holiday weekend....through the massive advertising campaign that eHarmoney and Match.com put on we've discovered that you can 'communicate with your matches for free' over the New Year weekend....through Sunday night.....we've both contemplated these options and have been having lively, laugh outloud discussions about how one goes about meeting new possible romantic partners. We believe, gone is the day when you get all gussied up and head out to a bar and rustle up, or rather hustle up and new romantic conquest....besides, we're too old for that....seriously, I'm pretty sure I'd break something if I had to go out and shake my groove thang in order to get some guy's attention...especially since I'd be competing against 20 something PYTs.....

What is a finely tuned, wise, smart, funny, witty, mellowed, broad to do? Roomie and I are considering the online options, as they seem to be the way to go, but is it true? Do those services really work? I know the local one I am paying for doesn't.... Does anyone out there know of soemone who found their one true love online? Please share, eh? Help a girl out.......

I'm very seriously considering eHarmony and then telling my stories here on the ol' blog.....but, I'm scared shitless.....maybe I should set myself a goal to have a fabulous date for Valentine's day.....are you all along for the ride?

Peace

9 comments:

iasa said...

I had a boyfriend that found his previous girlfriend through an online dating service but that's my only contact with it. I wish I knew how/where to meet people. It would be so nice to have someone in the states not just in the caribbean.

I wish you luck no matter what path you take you finding your love. And being slightly nosy, I would love to read about it on your blog.

Cyndy said...

First of all, I l.o.v.e. your salt and pepper shakers! I saw them on BC365 and was instantly enamored. I did not comment, yet, b/c I was going to be too gushy about the silver and not the photo (kind of like I am now!).

I am hearing a lot about how hard it is to find love (or companionship, friendship, etc.) a second (or more) time around. I suppose much can be found from the internet, but I would think there has got to be something more local, personal. Are there activities for adults at your school? Here they have a whole building that is for Adult Learners (a place to hang out and have coffee, clubs, etc.). What activities do you like (outside of the home)? Get out there! Join a cooking class. Take in a game. Read at the library. Somebody else has to be liking the same things you do, and I am sure they are avoiding the bar scene, too.

I am not walking in your shoes, so I hope that you don't think I am being too flippant. But I do believe that things happen for a reason and at the time they are supposed to. I am sending you positive thoughts and hoping you have a great Valentines Day!

Brian Miller said...

love will find you when it is ready, and in its own time. though i do hope it finds you in 2010. go for the date by valentines...always good to have goals...and give love something to work with. smiles.

Sara said...

I know two people who have had success online (one through a dating service and one on myspace of all places) but I also know several for whom it didn't work.

Online may work and it wouldn't hurt just so you can get out there but I also know, having met you, that you are so much more sunshine and "full of life" in person than one can see through just words alone. Try online out for perspective but I think when you find him it will be in person where the real you shines so brightly.

kristina said...

yes, I found my true love online, at a dating site :-) as did my best friend.
why not give it a try? good luck!

Delena said...

I know two couples who met on line and they are both now married. I also suggest just getting out there, not bars, join something that is co-ed. I have been married since I was 17 so I am not really one to give nowaday advice. I am routing for you and your bloging journey in the love department.

McGillicutty said...

A gal I work with just married for the first time (she's 47). She met her match online and they are perfect for each other and very happy. Go for it, you are too lovely not to find that special someone who makes your heart whole!!! luvs ya. Ali.

Wireitray said...

I too am in the same boat, The dating sites seems to be a joke in most cases. I enjoyed reading all of what you mentioned, because it sounds so like me as well. I'm a male, that has traveled the USA for eighteen years away from friends, family and of course do not drink or have a desire to go to bars, or nightclubs.
Recently I had moved from Ca. to Wi. and what a culture shock this was. Small area' and communities
that have little social clubs. l I have wasted time online and monies like yourself with the dating sites. I am aware that our Lord has a time and place for everyone and often wonder myself when is it my time? All of us have love and affection to offer that special someone, but when, where, and why does it seem like work, LOL...

spudballoo said...

Please don't be embarrassed, you DO deserve love and you will find it. There's only so long you can say 'it will happen' isn't there? After a while you have to think that hoping and praying isn't quite enough, you have to actually DO something!!

I have a friend who is eye wateringly beautiful. She looks like Juliet Binoche. She speaks 4 languages fluently. She's slim, she's funny, warm, elegant, stunning in every way and completely unassuming. But she just NEVER found love until she did internet dating, and then she met someone and married him within weeks! They have been happily married for a couple of years now and are expecting their first child.

I was so shocked that she could never 'find' love, and then she found it so fast online! (much like me in fact, MrSpud was my first internet date!). her husband isn't anything like the sort of man I thought she'd be with, but they are so in love. Such an inspiration.

So, go forth, date. Find love! xx