Opening the door.....the beginning

Today was RESUME' day! Ta Da!!!!! I know, how exciting could that be? Well, let me just tell you.....I think sometimes opportunities are created for us, (by the Divine) to meet certain people. While the interview/collaboration for the resume seemed to go quite well, I felt like the resume writer and I connected. Not in some weird creepy way, but, in a way that was helpful. I say helpful, rather than 'electric' or 'stupendous' because the interchange was helpful to my outlook and I need that right now. She seemed to GET ME....which is very important to me, for the person who is going to help craft the door to my future, get what I'm trying to do. It is a huge undertaking to depart from a long time career and start over again at middle age, I don't care who you are or where you come from, especially if you do not have any type of secondary formal education.....one time a long time ago my best friend and I were having a discussion about being a good 'saver' (money in the bank) and she said something very profound to me that I've NEVER forgotten, "you don't want to be a WalMart greeter for the rest of your life, do you?" That covered alot of bases for me and NO, I do not want to be a WalMart greeter for the rest of my life (not that there is anything wrong with being a WalMart greeter if that works for you), I want more than that. I don't have any children of my own, so, leaving a legacy isn't really an option, but, I want to leave a mark of some kind, a good one, that says, "I was here"...so, finding someone to craft the door to my future, who get's that, was critical for me.

The hour we spent discussing my career, spanning 25 years, she asked me questions about transitions between each of my jobs and as I was sharing with her how I happened to end up in each new job I was reminded how fortunate I have been in my career. I've never really 'wanted' for a job, every time it was time for me to move on, the next opportunity just sprang up in front of me. I have been very blessed, even this last time, as much as I hated to go back, the opportunity was handed to me to get back into the business, in a very good position. Again, all things happen as the Divine designed.....I am where I need to be for the time being, even if the discomfort is only a device to force me to face my fear and take the leap.

Other epiphanies came to me through the course of the interview, like, whom I have met along the way, who is still in my life and who is not. You might be familiar with that saying "people come into our lives for a reason, season or a lifetime..." well, just reviewing my career highlighted that for me. Some of those intersects I am truly grateful for, others, not so much, but, I acknowledge their purpose, either for my benefit or the other person's. My BFF is a gift from the Universe for having made the journey and if for no other reason I have our friendship to be eternally grateful for. (She is supposed to be reading this blog on a regular basis....so, "here's to you Sista'"). (I used the word "epiphanies" for her benefit, as well).

Moving on.....sheesh, sentimental and schmaltzy....that's me, one big, fat cliche'!!!!! Back to the resume collaboration....anyway, I think I've made a good connection and that I will find great success with my new door to the future. We are to meet again in a week to go over the finished project and concur on it's content and design and then I will have my first tool in my toolbox for my job search. We discussed many other things, some of which included my game plan, which I have semi-formulated already - just bomb everyone I can find related to the "heart" world with my story and my resume and hope for the Divine to point the way. I'm not unrealistic in my expectations for finding something outside of my current field in the short term, it may take a year or two before I get my foot in the door to where I want to be. In the interim, we are also crafting a resume that works within my current field so that I can at least find a place where I can be content for the time being. Gots to pay the bills somehow, right?

So, resume' day went well. I was so happy and inspired I went shopping........tee hee....

Taking the risk to blossom.......the beginning

Now that the move is over, I can begin to focus on what I’d like to do with myself. You know explore that inkling I mentioned in one of my first blogs. I recently had a reading with a spiritual astrologer,( yes, I believe in astrology and what it can tell a person about themselves and about others), that reading actually inspired this blog, so, going forward from that reading I am going to delve into the parts of me that my chart tells me to embrace. This is not the first time I’ve used my birth chart to help me understand myself and as I should have known, this reading was really no different from the last….I am nowhere near where I am supposed to be in my career path/life’s work. I am in a field that is cut throat, not always ethical, very stressful and totally unfulfilling and I have hated it for 24 years. I know, pathetic, eh? Staying in a career that you hate for that amount of time is just pure self loathing and lack of esteem…..well, I guess I should cut myself some slack, fear is a great motivator and I’ve been scared my whole life of stepping outside of a known security. I do not have a college education and I started in the industry I am in at the age of 18, right out of high school at a place my Mom worked, because the job was handed to me and I didn’t know any better. It completely amazes me how fast 24 years went by. I’ve been working in my field for over half my life. That is a long time to hate your work. And, I was out, but that year and a half was spent caring for my Grandmother and grieving her loss, so, I did not figure out in time what I wanted to do with myself before my medical insurance ran out and therefore, I let fear take over again and I went back to hell (this is what I affectionately call my work). Hell get’s uglier everyday and I am not as young as I used to be, so, my patience (mind you I am not by nature a patient person anyway) is very thin, very thin, so, I’m pretty sure I’m not long for hell and so, begins more excavating, more digging, more growing, more pain, more fear. Please do not misunderstand my griping about my job as being ungrateful, given the current jobless rate, I absolutely appreciate the position I am in and wake up every morning thanking the Divine for a job at all, yet still dreading the day ahead. People always feel compelled to remind you of these kinds of things when you’re griping, like that is actually going to make your unhappiness better, the irony is that it only makes me feel worse for hating what most people would be ecstatic for. Yes, just one big dichotomy I am. (Check that out a big word, eh?) See, no college education and I found that word! I hope it means what I think it means…….Okay, back on course. I have a lot to offer the world, my small world and the greater world and I intend to give until I don’t hurt anymore.