"To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else."
Monday, October 26, 2009
"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." Mother Theresa
(The leaf in this photo looks eerily like a real heart......metaphorically speaking).
Many years ago an old friend of mine and I were having a discussion about something I wanted, I don't even remember what it was I wanted, probably a new camera or something dumb like that, but, my friend told me that I would get it. I asked her how she knew that and she looked me straight in the eye and said, "You always get what you want, you always have." She wasn't being cheeky or jealous she was just telling me what she knew about me......God Bless her....she knew me well and although I do not ALWAYS get what I want, I very nearly get most everything I want.
Part of the journey I have been documenting here has been the journey to self actualization, finding out who I am and taking responsibility for my life and being the best human I can be. I believe I discovered that to be the best human I can be I need to go to school and get involved in the arena I can do the most good and give from where I live.....my heart. I want this, therefore, I intend to have it.
When I had my last open heart surgery in 2005 I was introduced to another middle aged survivor of congenital heart defect, Until this time I had been alone in my heart journey. Our bond was immediate and I am profoundly grateful for our friendship. Because of this friendship and deep connection a part of me was able to heal a part that had never been acknowledged before, the trauma. Open heart surgery at any age is a trauma, not to mention, physically challenging. The most gruelling part of it isn't the actual physical recovery, but, the mental and emotional gauntlet you run trying to psych yourself into believing that you're going to make it to the other side, in tact. So, having someone to connect with that has an innate understanding of that is pretty special. My friend, "K" and I discovered so many similarities in our lives, not just related to our medical files, but our family lives, too. At this discovery we started talking about ways we could help families and their children, both the patient and their siblings, deal with the trauma, emotional and physical, they might experience. We tossed out some ideas about how we might go about doing this and toyed with the idea of writing a children's book on open heart surgery. We both agreed what a good idea this would be and then promptly went on about our lives and shelved the idea of the book. Every time we talked after our initial brainstorming session we'd jokingly mention the book, but, we both have our lives that keep us pretty busy, so, it was just an idea we kept kicking around, We have good intentions, but, again, life sometimes take precedence over, well, other aspirations.
Until this weekend......I met a writer, who's sister is an illustrator and they've always wanted to write a children's book together! The writer happens to be a dear friend of K's and we met at K's family event this weekend. One thing led to another and we shared how we knew K and her family and how K and I had talked about writing a children's book about our heart stuff.
So, all of that leads to my inspiration tonight....when I am suffering from blogger's block I shuffle through my quote collection or my photo file and wait for inspiration to strike and either a quote or a photo will call me out, but, sometimes just the search is enough to get my mind churning and a little spark will ignite and things will start to spin.....
And, it happened. I got to thinking about how we end up where we need to be at just the right moment. You know what I mean, right? You happen to be at a party, with people you know, celebrating some milestone or maybe not even anything special, just a get together and there in the crowd is someone who you are supposed to meet. Or, you happen to share the same cardiovascular surgeon who has a nurse who actually listens to her patients and takes it upon herself to connect two people who really need each other. Or, you connect with someone through a blog who happens to connect with you on so many levels you just know you'll be friends for life. You know what I mean? And I began to ponder these blessings, these divine interventions and how your life can be changed in a split second by these fortuitous meetings.
If we get the book written my life will be forever changed and I will once again, get what I want, a chance to help someone. And, all of the seemingly simple meetings of the right people at the right time will have laid the ground work for something quite miraculous.....
This is what I've been chewing on tonight.....what about you?
I am a woman on a mission to begin the life I have taken for granted for too long. Many changes have come in the last five years and while I have weathered them, I have not seriously taken any action to make changes for the enrichment of my life. The stories of my journey will be posted here......stay tuned for daily status of finally living a life not lived.....
To really live.....quit waiting for tomorrow....what if tomorrow never comes....what if you wake up, get dressed and head off to that job you hate and you get hit by a bus on the way.....what will you regret NOT doing? Telling someone you're sorry for hurting them? Giving your kid the 'attaboy' he or she needs to get them to the next level in their growth? Telling your friends how much they mean to you? Being there for your spouse when they've had a really bad day? Or, maybe you keep saying you're going to finally become the person you were meant to be......and you missed your chance because you didn't believe that NOW IS THE RIGHT TIME!
Been There, Done THAT..........
Spend more time with the people I love Read more....lots more Finish unpacking Take more pictures Set up my bench Use my bench Use the picture editing software on my computer Own a NIKON Tend the garden.....lovingly Have more company over for food..... Go to Blog camp in Reno Go to a Monastery and listen get a new defibrillator test out of some classes for M.A. Program finish medical assistant school
On the nightstand......
ECG Interpretation - Lippincot, Williams & Wilkins