"To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else."
Monday, February 16, 2009
"Do not go where the path may lead- Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail" Emerson
So, before I get going on my dreams, probably ought to move on.....I've lived for the last, almost, two years in my grandmother's home. In July of '07 I moved in with her to care for her at the end of her life. Talk about an amazing experience and I will as this blog grows. Lots of lessons learned from that experience, in fact I'd have to say it was the 'obvious' catalyst for the growing pains I've been experiencing. As for moving out of her house, it is sad for me to leave, but, a necessary step in the journey. Fortunately, we were able to keep it in the family and I will get to visit. The energy here in the old ranch is, well, old. I love the memories, the landscape, the neighbors, and the possibilities it holds, however, it is far too much for me to handle on my own, so, time to move on. I will be moving to a new home with just as many possibiblities and am planning big things. The landlord and I are great friends and we've decided we'll build a huge garden in the back yard. I love to grow a garden. I have a garden journal that I have kept over the years and I find myself consulting and adding to it every new year. I even have photos from my previous gardens. Tomatoes and Lemon Cucumbers are my favorite and fortunately they are easy to grow. I always grow zucchini squash, aslo easy to grow, HUGE, if you let them get away from you. But, this year, the possibilities are endless, because I'll have some back up and a much larger space to grow in. Rick, the landlord, owns some heavy equipment, so, rototilling will look like skating......quick, slick and fast! I'm going to grow LOTS more veggies. onions, peppers, pumpkins, melons, sunflowers, of course tomatoes, cucumbers and zucchini and flowers, many, many flowers. OH, and herbs.....basil, oregano, dill, mustard, rosemary, lavendar, echinacea, chamomile, lemon balm, spearmint and sage! Wow, it sounds pretty amazing when you write it all down! So, the move represents growth for me, more growth. It will be a new place for a new beginning. Moving is always traumatic, even if it is something you want or need, packing your whole life up in boxes and in most cases trusting that 'stuff' to other people to transport, can be a 'moving' experience.....ha ha......But, I am starting to look forward. As I lovingly box up my prized possessions and ponder their relevance in my life I am forced to look at why they are relevant. What has been happening while I've been packing is that I have also been purging, which, is also part of a new beginning, shedding the old to make room for the new. I am empowered by my new view, the feeling that shedding is a good thing, not a betrayal of the past. I see my 'prized possessions' with clearer sight, what possessed me to buy this? Does it serve a purpose, besides accumulating dust? Can it be used or loved by someone else? Does it's sentimental value outweigh my need to purge? Can I justify holding onto it for one more move? And the kicker, why do I STILL have this silly thing? I have a growing pile of prized possessions heading for the Good Will, I hope that my loves will find good homes. Well, I better quit procrastinating and start the day's packing.......stay tuned.
I am a woman on a mission to begin the life I have taken for granted for too long. Many changes have come in the last five years and while I have weathered them, I have not seriously taken any action to make changes for the enrichment of my life. The stories of my journey will be posted here......stay tuned for daily status of finally living a life not lived.....
To really live.....quit waiting for tomorrow....what if tomorrow never comes....what if you wake up, get dressed and head off to that job you hate and you get hit by a bus on the way.....what will you regret NOT doing? Telling someone you're sorry for hurting them? Giving your kid the 'attaboy' he or she needs to get them to the next level in their growth? Telling your friends how much they mean to you? Being there for your spouse when they've had a really bad day? Or, maybe you keep saying you're going to finally become the person you were meant to be......and you missed your chance because you didn't believe that NOW IS THE RIGHT TIME!
Been There, Done THAT..........
Spend more time with the people I love Read more....lots more Finish unpacking Take more pictures Set up my bench Use my bench Use the picture editing software on my computer Own a NIKON Tend the garden.....lovingly Have more company over for food..... Go to Blog camp in Reno Go to a Monastery and listen get a new defibrillator test out of some classes for M.A. Program finish medical assistant school
On the nightstand......
ECG Interpretation - Lippincot, Williams & Wilkins