So, I've been beating myself up for not writing.....as I had a vision for this blog and lots of my thoughts do not necessarily fit into the 'vision'. I've been visiting around to other blogs, just to see what they are up to and how they 'blog'. I am jealous...as many of the books I've read by other writers who've written about writing said I might become or that they had experienced. Everyone writes better than me.... (tongue in cheek). Or, rather, I am envious of their specialness. And, what I also noticed is that I might be putting too much thought into my daily writing and that maybe I should loosen up and be spontaneous instead of methodical. Instead of 'designing' my posts before I write them, I could probably just post as the whim hits me and let the universe 'design' my wording. What do you think? Really, tell me....I'm looking for feedback. Also, I've become jealous of the attention that the other bloggers receive...not jealous of them personally, per se, just jealous that others are reading them...which, I have to take responsibility for. I started this blog in secret, secret from all of the people in my life who have been and probably always will be the 'editors' of my thoughts, feelings and life, you know, Mom, Dad, Auntie, Grandma, (except maybe Mom J, because, she would have 'gotten it' and since she's dead, she probably already knows) and even close friends. To date, only TWO people in my private life know of my blog......I don't edit for them, however, sometimes write as though I am writing TO them....which I catch myself doing and either go with it or change the course of the post....not because I am hiding anything from them, but, because I catch myself editing and don't want to be.
ANYWAY.....what I also realized is that I am 'saving' my writing for the end of the day and because I do that, I get to the end of the day and am so exhausted that I skip the writing because I cannot 'craft' as I would like to, again, too much thinking and not enough whimming (probably not in the dictionary, but, you know what I mean). So, this is my first Saturday morning blog. I often review the other bloggers I visit on a daily basis from my desk at work when I check my email, you know, in the middle of the day and since my favorite bloggers, (so far) are all on the East Coast and abroad, their posts appear in the middle of my day...giving me a little repreive from my awful work day.....they give me a much needed smile. Giving me the inspiration for making the effort to blog at other times of the day, instead of at night, right before bed. That does not mean I might not blog then, but, that I've given myself permission to go where the whim sends me.
Yes, that sounded kind of pathetic, you know, 'giving myself permission', but, nonetheless, my way of going about things. Sometimes it takes me a minute, or a million to think outside the box! Now that I'm outside the box, I am coming up with all sorts of ways to move my blog out into the world, beyond the three followers I have...one of which is my best friend and as much as she counts in my life, she doesn't really count as a follower because she doesn't really have a choice....she's my best friend, she has to follow....if only to make sure I'm not writing about her. (smile).
I might be ready to tell others in my life about the blog, in hopes that they will tell someone and that person will tell someone and so on and so on and so on.....but, wait, maybe not......crap, I can't decide. It's WAY better to have people who don't actually KNOW you come visit and stay and visit again or follow because they are doing it because they WANT to read your writing, not figure out why you're so neurotic or judge you or edit you.............................I already do all of that myself, don't need any help. Really, I don't. So, I guess not, not quite ready, maybe I never will be, eh?
Okay, so, writing when the whim attacks me.....here I go....weeee weeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!
Bringing the Outside In
5 hours ago