Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Pondering the Future......

Well, my first Monday of unemployment went smashingly! I did all kinds of productive things, some of them even related to figuring out what I'm going to do for a living! Wooo Hoooo! The inkling from before is actually finding some ground and I think I'm going to forge a place for myself in a new field, where I can make a difference. I have some classes scheduled, in fact the first course is a Basic Life Saving skills class, where I will learn CPR and how to use an External Cardiac Difibulator! I'm very excited about the difibulator part - (somewhere part of that is just the tiniest bit evil, but, I'll pretend it is merely morbid curiousity) - as, I have an internal cardiac difibulator, I'm anxious to note the differences. (I know, I'm just weird that way). After that, there is a course in managing Adult Cardiovascular emergencies! YEee Hawwww! This one I'm really excited about, however, I was informed by the gentleman who puts the class on it might be just a wee bit technical for a lay person, so, he says he can set up a class between the BLS course and the ACLS class that might be a segue between the two. Anyway, I'm all amped up about the classes.

More Monday fun included finding a "Happy Buddha" for my altar....at, of all places, the Good Will! Isn't that the most appropriate place to find a Buddha? The "Good Will"? I just realized that....right now, while I was writing it. Ha! I kill myself. Yes, happy dilerium from finding the "Good Willed Buddha". I also enjoyed great success finding a couple of books I was looking for at the Good Will, so, overall, the good will was shared in many ways. Okay, I think that horse is dead.

What I'm really digging toward is this feeling of happiness I've been experiencing ever since Friday when they laid me off. I know, doom and gloom is supposed to follow something like that, but, I DO NOT FEEL THAT. I only feel happy and confident and calm. Maybe this means I'm done being a chicken? Maybe some of the things I've acquired along the Spiritual path I've been wandering down have fortified me and the calm is the gift I received from the journey. I don't really know what's going to happen next and for once in my life, I'm okay with that. I have an overwhelming sense of 'everything will be okay'. Perhaps it's just a weird euphoria that will wear off in a week or two and I'll have a complete meltdown and freak myself out again....Nah, I think I'm on my way to a full Recovery from a LIFE not lived! Huh, I might have to change the name of my blog.....something else to ponder.
Or, perhaps it's just the Buddha.............
(a little side note, the hole in his front is because he's actually a beverage holder...according to roomie, you used to be able to buy a drink in the Buddha at a local restaurant)

2 comments:

julochka said...

it sounds like you have a very healthy attitude to your situation. sometimes it takes a jarring door slamming in one's face to turn and see all of the other opportunities that were like right there all along...it sounds like you are feeling very open to those. good for you!

marinik said...

First time on your blog, also read your old post "live like you were dyin" and already I see a major shift in your attitude between those two post... so you are on the right path.
Love the Buddha, you might be able to use the little hole for an incense stick during meditation, just a thought...
will come back for more reading.
As far as living like you were dying... we should all do that... my husband is on that journey now from cancer and not that he has any regrets in life... but there are a few more things he would have wanted to do, but alas it's too late... we should all take a lesson.
Mari