Monday, June 8, 2009

Quiet last......

I have made my reservations! The New Clairveaux Abbey. A place for silent, solitude. For quiet, deep reflection. A place to stop the noise and listen to what the Divine is telling me. To really hear what my heart has to say and to find trust in my own intuition.

The noise really is deafening. Everyday, the din becomes louder, more chaotic. I find myself wishing only for a moment of peace. I only booked for 3 days....wishing I had the stamina for the 5 day offering, knowing myself well enough, I will be jonesing for my dog before the end of the 3 days. If only I could take him with me....but, he would distract me from my mission and I tend to find distractions when I really, really need to focus on excavating.

I am soooo close to finding my way, I feel it. Each day at work becomes just a little more suffocating and LOUD, the Universe is just yelling at me, "Hey, deaf, dumb and blind girl, OPEN UP, TAKE A CHANCE - BE BRAVE", and I just keep fumbling around waiting for the sky to open up and drag me kicking and screaming to my real life. I know I'm missing so much by holding my breath for this to happen, that is why I am going to the Monastery. Taking myself away from the din of the existence I have accepted - literally accepted as life. I know, SO mellow dramatic! I'm really quite excited about the adventure. What an opportunity to just be with myself, to accept who I am, to be my own company and truly open up.

In my mind, I've already begun a list of the items I will take with me.....when making my reservation I was advised that the 'dress' was casual - but, NO SHORTS. Whew, thanks for that! So, I figure, a camera, (or two, BIG and little) my computer for writing, note pads, pens and books. I'm still considering the 5 day stay....seems like 3 days might not be enough....I guess I shouldn't get ahead of myself....I can always return another time for a longer stay.......hmmm. Oh my, indecision can be painful.

So, the countdown begins!

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