Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Retrospective......The Path

(The photo is merely gratuitous, but hang out, it might have some meaning before I get done with this post)

I've been reviewing the blog and reminiscing. Like the previous post says, I laughed, cried, marveled and found myself. Or, maybe I always knew myself, but had lost me somewhere along the way. I truly think God does us an injustice by letting us stumble through life without a clue. Here's my logic; if we were moderately less stupid when we start out we could accomplish soooo much more by the time we're old. I guess where I'm going with this is, if I had known 25 years ago this is where I was going to end up, more to the point, WANT to end up, I could have been this person for 25 more years. And, maybe helped more folks, myself included. Now, I'm sure there will be some folks who will use the argument that God's timing is perfect, but I just highlighted why it might not necessarily be. I guess the trip down memory lane was both cathartic and thought provoking. In 2005 I knew where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I just didn't know HOW to get there/here. In August of 2009 I knew where I wanted to go and thought I knew how I was going to get there. Even when I began the blog, the very first post, talks about giving back. I guess I'm being silly, knowing everything early wouldn't have been nearly as fun, right? Reminder to self; It is the journey that matters, not necessarily the destination.

The blog really has been a source of life lessons......apparently ones I inherently knew but was too obtuse to get until I rambled on about them here. I was able to compare life to a game show and question making changes in our choices and what the new choice might look like and whether or not it would have been the better choice given the lessons we learned by virtue of our first choice.(I went to school and took an English class while I was writing and apparently learned nothing about run-on sentences). I acknowledged a very private part of myself about my dashed hopes of having a family of my own and that ONE person to share it with, this alone was worth the time I spent blogging. Maybe the ONE is still out there and now that I've found my way we will stumble in to each other. (he better be an Irish, cowboy, warrior, heart repair guy, {if I get to pick}). And, right there, one more lesson......I have not given up HOPE.......however, sometimes HOPE gets in the way of reality(another lesson).

Even more illuminating to me was that I think I might have been happier when I blogged. Or rather, less grumpy. Because a friend shared, "writing is the new praying" and on a very regular basis we all inspired each other to embrace joy, simplenessgratitude, and happiness by writing these things down. I have read my fair share of self help books over the years and I distinctly remember many of them encouraging a journal in which we wrote down things we were grateful for, right? I guess I learned that not only is writing the new praying, but blogging is the new journaling. (yes, oft times I am late to the party, but I eventually catch on).

The review also gave me an opportunity to review my writing. To 'hear' my voice. To see the evolution of my style. I truly enjoy writing and think that I am a good writer. Every once in a while I really made a splash, like my acceptance speech and twice I wrote about inspiration, here and here and thought my prose quite entertaining. But, mostly, I feel that my writing was/is honest and accessible.I could be wrong, maybe some old blogging world friends are reading and can confirm my self promoting assumption. (tongue in cheek). I guess it is okay to say I like my writing and think I should do it more. God Bless the blog review.

Well, I guess I was wrong, the photo is not tied to anything in this post.....well, maybe an acknowledgement of the 'fruits of one's labor'. What were those again? (ppsht)

Oh, yes and one last lesson about is addicting and time consuming....and I just hope I will have the time to visit my old friends, write and enjoy both processes whilst WORKING!

Ah, that felt good.

S ♥


Brian Miller said... is fun to go back and well as see old friends that are no longer blogging...

Pat said...

Blogging/Writing IS cathartic, whether people are reading it or not. YOU are reading it. YOU are putting your thoughts down on paper. But, you do have an audience, and we are on the sidelines, cheering you on.