Sunday, August 2, 2009

"I'll take door number Three, Monty"

I've been thinking "what if life is like the game show let's make a deal?" and our journey is the game and Monty Hall is God. Let's say you get to what you think is the bonus round and Monty asks you to pick a door and you pick door #3. and, what if when door #3 is opened and the prize you won isn't exactly what you were expecting...maybe it wasn't the BIG prize they taunted you with, but, it was the prize you picked and that's what you went home with? and, so, your life (the prize) isn't all you had hoped for....and you spend your life wondering about door one and door two....or maybe you let that go back when you made your choice, but, now, because of the ever changing canvas that is life, you are revisiting past choices and you're wondering, 'why didn't I pick door #2? Did I miss an opportunity? Did I short change myself out of fear? Immaturity?" I am finding that there are a lot of people wondering about their past choices, some wondering back 20 years or more, some only to 2007 when we could no longer look away from the economic crisis.

A friend's marriage is ending....she is stepping away from a life she's known for 20+ years...and as she moves outward, forward, she is reconnecting with people she left behind when she got married. And, yet, while she is moving forward, she finds herself looking back at her life before marriage and examining what propelled her into that relationship and away from others she had back then. This has been a huge source of inspiration for me, about looking back while trying to move friend seems to be navigating this back and forward, push and pull with grace, letting herself feel, reach out like she didn't in the past and she's finding herself. Both the girl she was - who she wanted to be - and the woman she's become and still becoming. What has called to me has been her rather fearless search for 'why did I pick door #3 and not door #1? and if I had picked either of the other doors, what would my life have been like?' And, what comes up for me is living with regret or rather making the effort to not live with regret. What if she had picked a different door and a relationship she had back then had been the one she stayed with, but, it did not turn out to the the BIG prize any more than the choice she did make. Perhaps Monty Hall had a different plan and she was Divinely guided to pick door #3 so that she could get to where she is today and so that she could be the woman she is today, mature enough to reconnect with one of those past relationships and be prepared for what that relationship has in store for her? And, so, living with the regret of picking door #3 does not add to the forward motion of life and how we're suppsed to get to the REAL bonus round....the one that we couldn't have known was our destiny until now, when we are worn smooth with a brilliant polish, able to shine our true light. And, more than that use our own light to see more clearly what our choices are and make those choices consciously, making 'the deal' with maturity.


darsden said...

I remember that show... I like how you put it with life choices, there perhaps a couple of doors for me I would have like to have changed.. but can' is what it is.

Prayers for your friend stepping out of her "life zone" for the last 20 years..hard but a new beginning for her.. blessing to her and also you for a lovely post.

Mari Mansourian said...

a great post...
most people do go through life with that "what if" question on their mind... but I find, and have actually realized more in the past few months is that "living with regret" is a very crippling thing... instead I have excepted the notion that... everything that has happened and is happening is because that is exactly what was and is supposed to happen... and exactly how it was supposed to happen... well at least that's what's keeping me sane for the moment... :)

Suzanne said...

So many layers....and this, my friend, is what life is all about.

On another note, sorry I've been absent from the comment section lately. I'm catching up a bit.

spudballoo said...

Fascinating, I really enjoyed reading this. yes, forward and back, the cirle of life, what goes around comes around...all these things are so true.

I have very few regrets in my life. There are things I might do a bit differently if I had my time over. But I won't get my time over, the time has gone, those decisions were made for the right reasons at the time. so the best I can do is draw a line under it, learn and move on. Life is so short, so precious...there's no time to let the past suck energy from you.

Lovely to 'meet' you, looking foward to reading more of your thoughts. You write very beautifully.

Tess Kincaid said...

This is an excellent post. Wonderful analogy with "Let's Make a Deal". Isn't life just like this? Two roads diverge in a yellow wood.

Thank you for the comment you left on my "comment" post. "Comments are the thing that drives me to keep writing.", too.

Pearl said...

Ah! Nothing like having picked Door #2 only to find that you've "won" the donkey!

I've picked the donkey more than once in my life, I think. And I like donkeys. But sometimes, a scooter would've done the trick just as nicely!


An Open Heart said...

Dar - I watched that show alot growing up....
thank you for your thoughts to my friend...she reads my blog, so, she'll see your lovely words.

Mari - thank you for stopping by - I can imagine you have been pondering many life situations these days...prayers to you.

Esmerelda - love your blog - and, yes, layers, many - I was hoping I hit more than one!

Spudabaloo - what an honor! thank you for the compliment to my writing - thank you for stopping by for a sip of 'tea'! Happy to meet you, too.

willow - Robert Frost, right? I love your blog, always fascinating, thanks for stopping by!

Pearl - Yeah, a scooter, or an Ox, maybe? Thank you for stopping by!

Mike said...

What a great analogy!!! My life seems to be more like the Gong Show! HAHA!

An Open Heart said...

Otin - your blog doesn't make it seem that way! You are a great writer and very fascinating! Thanks for stopping by.